she said smthg to me today.
that made me think realli hard.
that ive stopped looking people in the eye for a long time.
i realised that too.
and i looked deep within and found just how vastly different a person i am.
now.
and how i hold my pride up high.
and prize it greatly.
if i was hurt, i nv showed it.
itd come out as angry outbursts
i was so self conscious that people would see me weak.
vulnerable.
when ive been so use to winning.
not knowing how to pick my fights.
fight my fights.
shielding my bruises.
yet still wanting to carry my heart on my sleeve.
dare the world to hurt me ask if it din matter

always pretended when i cry in the shower
that its just the water
tryin too hard to convince myself
that i can stand alone and aloof.

how i always cover up my pain, hurt, sadness
with a plastered cheerful smile.
no one has seen past that anyway.